10 The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the (consistently) righteous man — upright and in right standing with God — runs into it and is safe, high (above evil) and strong.

About a month ago we had a amazing surprise when we found out that we had a new baby coming.  Only to have our world rocked by the heart breaking news that at 9 weeks we lost her.  I was heart broken.  Add insult to injury we got the bill from the hospital emergency room for the two visits it took to get through the ordeal grand total $8000 and no insurance.  We have prayed about these bills for weeks not know how we were going to take care of them.. We found out today that that Medi-cal will totally cover the entire bill.  WOW amazing once again God’s mercy and grace came through.  Last month the bills just piled up.  I’m behind on rent, Taxes, and a pile of shipping and product bills I could not pay because sales have been off the last few months.  But we continue to stay  strong and trust in the Lord and wait for him to meet the needs in his time.  I think I am coming around. I am working hard to see God’s blessings daily.  But wow God is amazing

Well this last week we saw a break in the drought. Not huge by any means but a break none the less.  We had a total of 350 mugs ordered which was great. It wasn’t enough to take care of everything but it is a start to the new year. I have to say I am a little scared. its 12:19 in the morning and I have been up reading the word and praying.  I regually have to come back to the point where I say ok Lord I give it all to you. Tonight I went further and said you know no matter what I will serve you any way.  I can’t sleep all these thoughts are going through my head. What if we go another week like the last two. What if we default on the Lease, What if I don’t get the taxes straitend out. What if I can’t get the product ordered. What if I just made a huge mistake by letting every one go. What if we can’t rebound.  Then I remember oh yeah there are 365 verses where God says do not be afraid.

Psalms 49:5-7.Why should I fear when evil days come, when wicked deceivers surround me–6.those who trust in their wealth and boast of their great riches?7.No man can redeem the life of another or give to God a ransom for him–

Exodus 9:30 NIV – But I know that you and your officials still do not fear the LORD God.”

As a small business owner, I find there are many times in my life I am alone. I feel at times alone in the fact that most of my friends have no idea what its like to be a business owner.  Its tough to plan things with them because I don’t always know when I am available based on time and if I am available its probably because I have no work so I am broke and can’t go any where any way.  But most of the time I feel alone I really am. I am alone at the office. These day’s it’s not so much as it was when we started, but today I am it’s January 11 2010. I had no real sales last week and so there is not much in the way of work this week.   So I have no one else here. No workers, no accountant, not even a kid under foot.  Don’t get me wrong I love my alone time, its time for reflection, rest, and time with the Lord but I have also found it’s a time when Satin attacks and hard.  It can be things that are detrimental to my  life. But most of the time it’s just DOUBT.  So lets look at the facts here In the last 5 years The lord has always met the need. Since we started the current business in the last 3 years. We have never had more than a week were we were skunked.  We always have the sales needed.  God has always met the need.  Satin loves to get into my mind on this issue.  He starts making me think about the worst case scenario.

Well what if you don’t have any sales this week? You have payroll due, taxes, insurance payments, Late rent at home and the office.  Are you sure you  want to take the risk of trusting in God? Are you sure he is even responsible for what has happened in the past? If you are so sure he is then why are your project boards empty? Why don’t you have enough to cover all the bills,? Why can’t you buy the product needed for the current project that is sitting here that you can’t run today?  Oh and lets look at what could happen if this trend of  no sales continue, you will be evicted from your office and you home,  You will loose all your equipment, You will have to shut down. Then you will be out of work and no one is hiring!!!!
It is so easy to get into this pattern of thinking. But when it all comes back to it. My GOD has a track record in my life and business.  Every need that has come up has been met.  God has gone above and beyond.  All I have had to do is ask and then have faith.  Why would now be any different.  I have been in these spots before and when it was time God came through.  He wants the best for us.  He wants a relationship with us, and he wants our trust.

Anyone who receives instruction in the word must share all good things with his instructor.7.Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.8The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.9.Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:7-9

I often wonder what I am sowing into the lives of others from my business relations to my friends, wife, and kids. Some times I feel as though all I am doing in just running the same rat race, and that no one is really getting anything out of me but complaint about the economy or about how a order went wrong, or that my sales are off. I mean shoot this week I only had $19.00 in sales. thats it no more. I can’t even tie my shoe or sneeze for $19.00. My natural inclination is when people ask me how things are going, be honest well they stink and here is why.  Instead of saying well here is where we are at God is in control, tell me whats going on in your life.   When I am gone will people look back and see how I impacted their life or will they see me just as the business owner who did nothing but complain???  Then their is my kids. I did not realize how much my boys now pick up on stuff. I guess the main topic of conversation at our house is whats in the bank. I only realized this a week ago when we started going out to eat and my oldest son Joel said “Dad do we have enough money”. I looked at him with a loving heart and said “yes son we are fine”.  What am I sowing into my kids life.  Are they going to grow up in fear and worried about cash flow or are they going to grow up to be strong young men who’s strength and courage is with the Lord.   Then there is my wife, I think my actions and words have the biggest impact on her.  I want her to know I love her, everything about her. Yet do I sow that into her life or am I only focused on her failures.  I think that a lot of guys get married and are looking for that perfect little Betty Crocker, little miss home maker.  I think we project that idea onto our wives without even realizing it.  My wife is not the best house wife ever. Ask her and she will tell you the same but that is not what matters. She is a awesome mom to our kids and she does her best to make sure my needs are met.  I find that I think she sows more into me than I do into her at time.  So the question I started with is the one I am going to finish with that we all should think about daily. Am I sowing to reap reward only. Or am I sowing to please the spirit.  Do my actions daily help others grow in their relationship.

Psalm 18: 1 to 3 I love you, O LORD, my strength. The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I call to the LORD, who is worthy of praise, and I am saved from my enemies.

I love what David says in Chapter 18 of Psalms.  I think David is being honest in his cry to God. I sounds like he is writting it to remind himself of Gods provision and mercy. You know I have to constantly refer back to this verse in the midst of slow times. It is now January 7th I have had a total of 2 sales that equal a total of 19.00. What the heck!!! I was watching Facing the Giants with my 5th and 6th grade class yesterday and coach was reading this verse. He prays in the Orchard and says something that No matter what, he would follow God before anything else, and If God moves him he will praise him any way. Then his wife comes out into the orchard and he looks at her and says. “If God never gives us children will you love him and serve him any way” That is the greatest scene in the movie and the one that changes everything. I think we all have to come to that point. I have a time or two but it’s not just something that happens 1 time, and its over. It’s a daily thing I have to do as I think we all do. Daily surrender is what we all have to do. Lay down our hopes our dreams and just say God I give it all to you. Time and time again I find myself in that place facing this same giant and trying to figure out how I am going to beat it. Time and Time again I look up to that place I long to see and hear the Lord say you can’t but I can I just need you to trust in me. Surrender to me and let me take control. Let me be your rock you fortress. Let me take control. Its in those moments when things change and those moments when the phone starts to ring. Time and time again God has shown himself faithful and time and time again I find myself back in this same pit.  It is in those moments I have to stop take it to the Lord know he is in control Give it to him and move on.   See its not God causing the fear and doubt its satin. He knows our weakness.  He loves to remind us of our failing and loves to show us the giants that are facing us so that we get off track. But its God that is in control.  He will not let any giant stand in our way if we let him have control of it.  Watch the clip again and Just like the Coach prayed and surrender, Do the same give God control and see where he leads. Also if you haven’t seen Facing the Giants yet check it out.

Well 09 is over ad 2010 has begun.  I am excited and scared all at the same time.  But I have a plan. The Goal Still to be dept free with in the next 6 months.  Here is where things stand

Investor 4300 and some change
Main Suplier stalled at 11,000
Taxes are around 2300 but I have a plan in place with the IRS to resolve the issue
Random Items 1000
18600

I still have the merchants advance but it comes out of my credit card sales so no worries there

These 4 issues are my alkalies heal. So what am I doing to try to wipe them out. Simple its not a loan and it not a new partner no I am trying to find more customers. I am going with government contracts and so far I have 11 I am working on. It is just a matter of time before I hit one that pays big.  The strategy strike hard and strike often. I am sending out quotes daily and making calls on each contract hoping I hit one that makes a splash.   I am paying for a service that sends me the bids. So far so good. I have sent in 2 at this point one would net me 6000 total profit if I get it
The other about 500.00  Hey money is money.  I also renewed my membership with PPAI so now I have Sage, PPAI and ASI.  Whats next well just get orders out on time and answer all request for bids.  Thats the plan.

1. School – I graduated as a home schooler in 97
2. Scouts- I went from Tiger Cub to Eagle and am now a Den Leader for my oldest son
3. College It was tough but with the help of my wife Kate I pulled it off
4. Family Man- Its a daily struggle filled with great joy
5. Color Promotion Industries (CPI) – My business of which this entire blog is centered.

I was destined to be a business owner. I didn’t know it at the time when I was a kid but it always was there.  I think I got it from my grandpa.   He owned numerous businesses when my dad was a kid.  He had 2 barbershops a beauty shop and a realestate office. He was a piller in the community of Ballwin Missouri, so much so our family even has a street named after us.  As far as I can remember I was always selling somthing:  wreths for cub scouts, magazine subcriptions for school,  I had my first lawn care business at the age of 9.  I got enough work out of it to pay for new video games. Looking back on that, if I could have focused on repeat sales I might have gone far.
Things really started to worry me when I was 16. I got my first job working as a tour guide at Merimac Caverns in Stanton Missouri.  I worked there for 6 months before I left do to be hurased unmersifully by my boss.  From there it was off to Six Flags St. Louis my cousin and I car pooled he got me on there working food service. That job I have to say worked well for me I was never doing the same thing all the time and that kept my attention. Plus it was seasonal so I started in May and was done by October and then I had the winter months off.   Off season I cut firewood off my parents farm and sold it at $100.00 per cord.  Again I did not focus on repeat sales big mistake.  By the time I was in College I found I had a huge issue I had no direction and no plan.  The solution follow in my dad’s foot steps. Go to a christian college major in Christian education half way through the year I changed to Church Rec. and then off to siminary. It was fool proof, that is till I loss my scholarships do to enjoying my new found freedom.  So then having no money and no scholarships it was off to Central Missouri State University. Where I started off majoring in Avation, I got 6 months a $6000 through that and discided it was to expensive and so I change majors to photography, and then art. At the end of the semester I dropped out and went home.  I got a temp job and started trying to get on at a factory in Union Missouri I got fired from every one of them because I could not focus on the same tedius task for 12 hours in a row.  So I discided to drive a school bus which turned out ok. I started in September and made it through the year. I got married and my wife and I moved back to CMSU, we both enrolled and both took on part time jobs.  Kate went to work for a school district as the after school program director and I went to another district and got a job driving a bus.  By October I was fired from the bus lot and that same weekend we concieved our oldest son Joel. The next nine months I tried to start a youth camp program that actually was going well till september 11 and we were living off our finacial aid.  Kate worked through her maturnity months and that July Joel was born and kate discided to stay home.  During those three years I worked as a pizza delivery driver, Portrait studio manager, webdesigner, and wedding photographer.   After Graduation we moved to California where I worked as the Head male counselor at a camp.  Then the fall of 04 I took on the roll of a youth pastor. While doing that I started another not for profit called Youth Connection.  That spring we found our selves anticipating the birth of Silas. I left the youth pastor job to focus on youth connection which I stuck out for 2 more years untill o6.  During that two years we discided we could not find any sponsers and kate wanted to be home with the kids so I took on a full time job working as a Asst. Store manager at a harware store.  By the following April I had enough and got a business loan to start a portrait studio and which transformed into a promotional products company by that fall.  Then my whole world turned up side down.  A friend saw the success I was having with the promotional products and said hey I got a new office that is to big why don’t you move your business out of your garadge and into my building and I will come on as a partner and invest $10,00o.  I would run the day to day operations and he would take care of all the finances and daily sales paperwork.   So that 10 grand quickly turned to 15, then 20 and finished off at $50,000.  So here is mistake #1 put everything in writting.  We didn’t and when the crap hit the sealing we had a big issue.  About a year into it my parnter had a new issue his other business was going down fast.   He needed to get his money back and it was up to me to take care of it. By this point I was doing it all, answering phones, taking orders, ordering product printing orders and running invoices.  So we made a deal in writting, I would run the business and he would get his payoff by the following August.  Then I would own the company.  By July of that year I had paid back all but the last 9000 and the deadline was coming up. So another friend of mine said hey I will lone you the money you need to pay him off.  Mistake #2 Put everything in writting.   I said sure so he and a friend loned me 12,000 his friend straitend out my books and then 2 months later charged me 1500 to do so.  Then I needed to order product so he loned me another 3000 on her credit card.  So are you confused yet because by this point I was trying to figure out what I had gotten myself into.  So to recap

1. Friend comes on as business partner we ran up 50,000 in dept on his credit line
2. I paid off all but 9,000 which I borrowed
3. Oh I forgot the Lease the old partner could not get out from the lease because I did not own any property so he let me sublease from him so I got the lease of the space for 1925 and a sublease fee of 415 total bill 2340 per month.
4. 2 investors come on board loan a total of 15,000 and a accounting bill of 1500
5. We figure out that paying off X partner put me in dept 14,000 on top of everything else

From August of 08 to Feb of 09 I worked on paying off my new found dept. And by feb I had it all taken care of except for the 15,000 from the investors.  I started working on paying that down and then business dropped off due to the economy by March I was down to $9000 and by July I was back up to 32,000.  One of the new investors didn’t like the arangement we had and he wanted more control so I took out a merchants advance for 10,000 which cost me 3ooo so I now have a new loan for 13,000 to pay back. Investor got paid off and now I am down to one investor who is now my accountant and one suplier I own money to and the merchants advance I owe on.  Are you tired yet I know I am.

So now its today Dec 28 2009.  The new year is coming fast and a new decade. I survived the rough economy and by all account I think 2010 is going to be a good year.  So today here are my current issues I am working on

1. My main suplier I own $11,000 to what makes it rough is that they have stop selling my #1 product aluminum water bottles
2. My accountant is still working for me and I still own her 4,600 plus interest again nothing in writting
3. my merchant advance I own around 4300 on
4. Shipping is around 1100 total
5. Taxes 1200 due now and 1000 more coming up
6. Total due 21,900

During all of this caouse I started reading a book my wife gave me called “Business by the Book” by Larry Brickett.  Great book the whole premis is about running a business dept free.  Great idea, very hard to do.  I have been trying to do this now for the last 3 years. I have to say I have come close but this year I am going to do it.  Its not easy especully now that we live off this business my wife lost her main job last year and is now part time at out church.  So we are living on very little we have paid off most of our dept except for car payments and 2 small credit card which total around 900 total.  I went on my first vacation in 4 years 2 weeks ago and stressed the entire time I was gone. But we got through it.  We live a very simple life at this point and have discided this works well.  So even as things change we will still continue to live as we have been.  Ok so here is my goal for the next year I want to have this business running completly dept free by July 1.  I have a few things working in my favor that could make this work out the first is the property managment is now saying they would like to offer me my own lease.  Its a smaller office with more warehouse and its 1000 less per month.  that would go along way it changing things.  my big concern is; I am a month behind now, and have not been able to make the payment because I have already made 2 payments this month to catch up the last two months I was behind,  because customers were slow to pay.  Any way thats the scoop so now what. well I am not sure yet but I am working on it.  This blog I am hoping will give me some escape. Not sure if any one will ever read it but if they do I hope they think twice before starting their own business.   I think the one thing I have remembered through all of this GOD IS IN CONTROL. Its only through him we are were we are at the moment in a economy that is heading down hill fast I have leared to turn my trust to him and not the stock market. I have always had it when I needed it. Well thats it for today toon in tomarrow for a update